Sixteen Jens, ten Jennys, throwing shade at her

In the spring of 1978, when I first started keeping a journal, I was in love with a classmate named Veronica. At least, I thought I was in love with her. It's what I called it. What other name should we give to a feeling so powerful? In my very first entry, I wrote of the experience of standing next to ( Read more... )

What did he do? I've now had three conversations with my parents where I have been moderately more honest, to the limit of my courage or ability, to be honest and open. The first was with my mother, on her birthday, and the second two were with my father, one yesterday night and the other earlier tonight. There is so much I don't understand about ( Read more... )

Observation: It is difficult to write about the things which are extremely important in a timely fashion. Also, I have to change some privacy settings on some entries I have made here. I promised Laurel that I would do this, because she wants me to do so, but I have not attended to this yet. I feel guilty about this, but I have not put the time and ( Read more... )

We keep getting stuck here all the time...

I've been thinking about the problem of circles and cycles in thought and action. I may lament them, but the real question is do they have purpose. Cyclic processes are intrinsic to nature. Feedback systems, iterative processes, successive approximation, fuzzy-logic, the OODA loop, all of these are ( Read more... )

Need is not a claim.
Desire is not fulfillment.
When reality and a dream diverge it is the fantasy which must be abandoned.
It is disheartening to find oneself at Square One again, but at least it is not unfamiliar.
This island looks barren but it is not hopeless. Food and water can be found. I have tools and knowledge. Shelter can be constructed. ( Read more... )

Fall is well underway now. The mornings have been chillier. Shannon likes it pretty darned cool, which is to say damned near cold in the house, so we haven't really run the furnace more than a couple of times this fall. It has dropped to 58° F in the house on a couple of mornings, and I've turned the furnace on a couple of times to warm the place ( Read more... )

Without self-knowledge and self-confrontation philosophy is a farcical exercise in context-dropping and categorization error.
The further on I go, oh the less I know ( Read more... )

“All my laurels you have riven away, and my roses ( Read more... )

They just don't get it. I tried holding a "serious conversation" with my mother this evening. She doesn't understand. Baggage. How does one discuss baggage with someone whose idea of "a good life" is radically different than one's own ( Read more... )

I went to see a movie last night called "The Age of Adeline." It's kind of a science-fantasy movie about a woman who was born in 1908 and stopped aging sometime around the time she was thirty. She meets a man in the modern day and their relationship is seemingly doomed by the problem that she doesn't age and cannot tell anyone about it. It was ( Read more... )